From the Desk of Director Sarah Martinez, Entry 1
October 7, 2101
Therapists, am I right, diary?
God, this is so fucking stupid. I have an interstellar push to coordinate and now I have to write down my fucking feelings so suits I don’t even report to feel better about things? Well… it’s a mandatory fifteen minutes and while I can probably get away with just typing “dildo” over and over again, I might as well try, unlike them.
You’d think they’d be focused on the rapid recovery of the Genesis project after Bones’ attack, but nooooo. “The director seems hostile.” You’re goddamned right I’m hostile. We’re talking about the future of humanity, about moving half the population out to New Eden, the Erias belt, and Shi Chi, and these assholes are worried I’m hostile?
Of course I am! Every step forward has been a struggle! A mountain I’ve carried alone since Janet passed. God, if Janet hadn’t passed over AI controls… I don’t even want to think about it.
But I do, don’t I? All the goddamned time. What would happen if I didn’t control the Sol Protection Fleet? If I couldn’t force systems to keep habitability a priority over profits?
Oh goddammit. Maybe Friez knows what she’s talking about after all. Fucking therapists.
I’m worried, is all. Everything Janet and I built is balanced on a knife’s edge already, and now the Ladder is shut down because of Bones’ stupid fucking bomb. I should’ve seen that coming, but I didn’t. I thought we put it all behind us, that leaving her alone meant she’d leave us alone.
But no.
Some people are too goddamned stubborn for that.
Says the woman locked in her office ranting into a tablet.
How much time is left… oh six more minutes. Fuck.
Maybe I can petition to make it ten? Five?
Or maybe I’ll stop bitching and just get it done. That is my MO, after all.
This is confidential… just need to remind myself of that. No one reads these but me, so…
I think I might have a potential workaround for the Ladder getting knocked out of commission. That shuttle Tarrington had, I don’t think we made it. And I think there’s more tech to extract, like whatever allows it to go through re-entry at most any angle. Just need to get together a trusted team and get them on it.
Without damaging it, of course. What a fucking shame it’d be to lose this thing, though that might be selfish of me. It’s nice being able to go check on settlements without needing to arrange passage on one of the ARKs.
One minute left. Argh.
Okay. Fine. I turned forty-seven last week. I hate it. The end. Is that what you wanted to hear, Friez? I hate I’m going to die without seeing humanity safe and sound in the galaxy. I sacrificed everything for this and I’m terrified that…
Oh, thank God, the timer went off. I have work to do.
Humanity isn’t going to save itself.
Same time Monday, diary?
Until then,
Director Sarah Martinez
